


Just Friends

by liberty_rose



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:22:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liberty_rose/pseuds/liberty_rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin invades Ray’s only sane place, but Ray can’t bring himself to stop him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Friends

Ray always thought too much about the little things Gavin did. The way he’d nudge him with his hip when they were standing side by side and he wanted attention. Or how Gavin would grab his shoulders and look directly into his eyes when he got really excited about something. Ray had been so caught in the tiny nuances that the big things weren’t as obvious any more.  
He tried not to notice the way Gavin looked at Michael with big eyes and a charming smile. He only looked at the red head that way. Gavin was sweet to everyone, always joking and playing along with all the banter, but he reserved the love-struck stares for one person. And that person wasn’t Ray.

Still, he took the affection that he was given, trying desperately to make it be enough; it never was. He always wanted all of Gavin’s attention, every sigh and laugh, he wanted it to be solely for him. He knew he was being selfish, but a part of him just didn’t care. That part of him had decided long ago that there would always be hope. That one day Gavin would see how much Ray cared for him and would realize that they should be together. Another part of him, the sane and logical part, knew that that was complete bullshit.

Every time Ray tried to put his hopes and wishes to rest, Gavin would do something to awaken it. The first time he’d tried to bury his feelings, Gavin fell into his lap while he was sitting on the couch and just sat there like it was perfectly normal, causing the hope to rear it’s ugly head. The next time he started to referring to him as X-Ray.

The worst habit by far was when Gavin had taken to giving him surprise hugs/tackles. Sure, Ray would’ve loved to have accepted them and just cling to the attention, but he knew that the hugs weren’t fueled by the right feelings. They were fueled by Gavin’s love of bothering people and invading their personal space.

Whenever things got too be too much for him, Ray would retreat to the little garden on the balcony of his apartment. There he would tend to the flowers, giving them life and color. Today found Ray himself in such an overwhelmed state, tipping water over petals and leaves, turning dirt into mud. He could feel himself slowly breaking, coming apart at the seams. Everything was falling apart. He was starting to lose Gavin, not that he ever really had him to begin with. 

He had just watered the mums when the buzzer sounded, announcing that someone was seeking access to the building, more specifically, his apartment. He swiped his muddy hands over his jeans and jogged to the little intercom right by the front door.

"Hello." he said in the speaker while holding down the button.

"X-Ray!" He recognized the voice instantly.

"Vav, just a second." He jammed his finger into the button to unlock the front door with an obnoxious buzz, his chest tightening.

He twisted the lock of his own door and flung it open, leaning over the threshold so he could see the stair well. In a few moments, Gavin came bounding up the stairs and raced to Ray’s door. In his hands he held a grocery bag, the white plastic bulging in places, showing the outline of its contents.

Ray stepped back as his friend waltzed through the door and unceremoniously dumped the bag on the small table in the dining area. There were cans of soda and candy scattered across the wood surface.

"What is this for?" Ray asked, plucking a pack of skittles from the table and examining them.

"You seemed kind of down when you left. I figured you could use some cheering up. So-" Gavin waved his arm over the array of sweets and drinks. "I found the brightest and most sugary things and just dropped on by."

It would have been a sweet gesture if it had been from anyone else. But since it was Gavin who went through all the trouble, Ray couldn’t help but feel a just a little bit angry. He had looked ‘kind of down’ because Gavin had been raving about how he and Michael were going out for drinks later, just the two of them. Of course they had invited Ray, but he had enough of the third wheel feeling at work, he didn’t need it intensified by the alcohol in the boys blood streams.

It hurt every time, but for some reason, today had been especially painful. The way Gavin had animated his words with big, sweeping gestures when he talked about or to Michael. He didn’t do that for anyone else, least of all Ray.

"I thought you were going out with Michael?" He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice when he spoke.

"We can go for drinks any time." Gavin grinned and cracked open a can of soda before handing it it Ray. "So, what were you planning on doing before I interrupted?"

Ray glanced towards the glass doors which opened onto the small balcony. “Nothing much. Just working in the garden.”

"Well, then I’ll help!" Gavin darted out onto the terrace.

Ray wanted to protest, wanted to keep this one thing only his. It was the only thing that kept him sane when his brain was trying to self destruct with thoughts of Gavin. But he didn’t say anything; he couldn’t. Instead, he sat his untouched soda on the table an wandered onto the portico.

"What are these?" Ray was greeted by the question as soon as he stepped through the door.

Gavin was holding a small packet covered with images of bright red flowers. He extended them towards Ray, who took them and walked to the half full watering can still sitting on the edge of the glass table.

"They’re Hybrid Tea Sedona roses." He explained as he finished watering the plants.

"I want to help plant them!" The exclamation startled Ray, causing him to nearly drop the can.

Those simple words caused his mind to spin into a state of chaotic disarray. He didn’t know how to react; how could he? The thing that was slowly draining him of his sanity wanted to be part of the one thing that kept him sane. He couldn’t very well say no; it was Gavin, he never said no to Gavin.

"I can’t plant those yet, they haven’t been cleaned or soaked so they’re not ready." Ray said and set the packet of seeds on the table.

Gavin made a face similar to a pout, but his near constant smile was still in place, so the pout didn’t have the proper affect. Still, Ray couldn’t handle a pouting Gavin, so he sighed and reached under the table, pulling out two plastic containers with small sprouts growing from the dark soil.

"These need to be planted. They’re ready for a bigger home."

"Then I want to help plant those.” Gavin said excitedly.

"Sure. Go fill this up." Ray relinquished the watering can and waited until the other man was out of hearing range to let out a heavy sigh.

He took the few moments of solitude to gather himself, patching up the cracks which kept threatening to give away his emotional state. He’d wait until he was completely alone to break. Until then, he’d wrap tape around the wounds and pray they held together.

"I spilled a little bit on the carpet." Gavin’s voice broke his thoughts.

Ray put his fake smile back on and took the can and sat it on the ground, kneeling down beside the vacant flower box where the roses would be. Gavin dropped to his knees beside the box of dirt next to his friend. He pushed his a finger into the soil, burying it up to the knuckle.

Ray smiled, but the sentiment did not reach his eyes. “Make the hole bigger, about this big.” He drew a circle in the dirt the size of CD.

Gavin did as instructed and widened the indentation until there was enough room for the plant; he repeated the process to make room for the second sprout. “Is that okay?”

"Yep. After you take them out, break up to soil so that it’s not all one big lump and put in in the hole. But be careful getting them out of their containers, don’t break any leaves off." Ray handed him one of the plastic pots.

"Got it. Don’t hurt the baby flowers." Gavin nodded and scratched his cheek, smudging dirt over the tan skin.

As Gavin maneuvered the block of soil and roots from the cup, Ray couldn’t help but focus on that little smudge of dirt. He wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe it away, to touch Gavin’s face, his skin. He curled his hands into fists, his nails biting little crescent moons into his palms. But he welcomed the slight discomfort, it brought him back to reality. Reality; where Gavin thought of him only as a friend and broke his heart every day.

Ray mentally shook himself and turned his attention back to the project at hand. He pulled the flower from its pot and broke up the solid block of earth. He quickly deposited the clump of dirt and twisting roots into its designated plot, smoothing the soil around it back into place.

"How long is it going to take for these to grow?" Gavin asked, using his finger to delicately stroke one of the tiny leaves as if it were a pet.

"A while." Ray murmured. "Good things come to those who wait, and all that shit." He smirked; he had never exactly been a philosopher, but that was lame even for him.

Gavin sighed and stared at the little, green sprout. “Grow.” He drawled, stretching the word over three syllables.

Ray couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled in his throat. “Keep it up, I think it might be a little taller.”

Gavin laughed and swiped his filthy hands over his thighs, leaving behind two dark tracks over the denim of his jeans. He stared down at the dirty fabric with a frown, as if he hadn’t expected his hands to be that filthy.

"I’m going to go wash my hands." He said and turned to walk back into the apartment.

"I’ll meet you inside. I’ll just finish up out here." Ray maintained his smile until the moment the glass door closed.

His face fell and for a moment he felt like he was going to break down right then and there. Gardening was supposed to be relaxing and therapeutic, but with Gavin there it felt as if his little sanctuary had been desecrated. He could never look at the flowers they had just planted without being reminded that a piece of his serenity had been ripped to shreds. He was half tempted to rip up the flowers the moment Gavin left, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to do that. Because no matter how much it hurt to be reminded that his calmest moments would always be tainted, he couldn’t ruin what he and Gavin had done.

Ray took a breath so deep that his lungs began to ache from the pressure. He exhaled roughly and opened the patio door. He busied himself by washing his own hands, the soap turning brown from the dirt. He watched the muddy suds swirl around the basin of the sink and disappear down the drain.

He was still staring at the water running over his hands when Gavin entered the room, his attention on the phone in his hands. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips and the sight made Ray’s heart stutter painfully. He turned off the faucet and studied his friends face. Gavin smiled all the time, but there was only one person who could elicit that sort of absent minded smile. Michael.

"Who you talking to?" Ray asked, trying to make is voice light and keep the sad, jealous tone out of it.

"Michael. He’s mad at me for ditching him." Gavin said, not even looking up from the tiny screen as he spoke.

"You should go. That way he won’t be pissed off tomorrow." Each word felt like a blade through his chest, but still he forced himself to say them because he knew they would make Gavin happy.

"Really?" This time Gavin did look up at Ray, a strictly friendly smile curving his lips.

"Yeah, go ahead. I’m pretty tired so I’ll probably just eat and go to bed." Ray dried his hands on his jeans and walked around the counter to where Gavin stood.

"Cheers, X-Ray!" Gavin threw an arm around Ray’s shoulder and gave him a half hug, half thump on the back.

With a wave and another goodbye, Gavin was out the door, leaving Ray to sulk by himself once more. Despite the rumbling protests his stomach was making, he didn’t think he could bring himself to eat, instead he trudged to his room and got ready for bed.

As he pulled the blankets up to his chin he debated calling in sick to work the next day. He didn’t know if he could take the stories about the drunken escapades Gavin and Michael had. Even while he thought about it, in the back of his mind he already knew the answer. He’d go to work and bear the pain of being ignored and unwanted just for the sake of being around Gavin. That’s how it’d always been, and that’s how they’d always stay. Just friends.


End file.
